i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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