Say something about gay babies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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