I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
