My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
