My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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