When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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