you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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