No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
