I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
