hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
