Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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