Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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