shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
