forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
