If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
