I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
