I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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