You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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