Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
