the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
