I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
