So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
