I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I came so hard my ears popped.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
