I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
