my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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