He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
