Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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