He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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