If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
