dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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