im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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