let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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