I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
