yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
