I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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