I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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