I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
