She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
