you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
