Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
