if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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