if only i could text you this smell
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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