I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize