Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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