so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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