Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
