I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
