you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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