there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
