I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
