OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
