Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
vagina is talking i cant
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
