Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
