you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The Olympian is in my bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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