Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
