at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
